Cyberpunk 2077
Review Date: 28/01/2021
My heart is sore … I feel lost … I feel uneasy … Why? Because I just finished Cyberpunk 2077, and you know what? If I have to add up the game itself, the story, the bugs, the constant crashing every hour, the annoyance of the crashes, the frustration, the weirdness … If I take it all and add it up … I can only say one thing.
THIS GAME IS FUCKING AWESOME!!!!!
I looked forward to this game for months and after experiencing The Witcher 3, I could not wait to get my hands-on Cyberpunk 2077, and even though the game was constantly delayed and buggy and crashed on me constantly, it was and is one of the best games I have ever played.
So, sit down, you breath-taking gonk, and you at the back, Wake the fuck up, Samurai! I have a review to write!
Yes, everybody JoKishler is back, and here literally 5 minutes after finishing Cyberpunk writing this review because if I don’t ride this wave of emotion, this review is gonna suck. Look I’ll be honest, I don’t even think that with a heart full of emotion I would be able to do this game justice, but here it goes.
A City to Burn
Set in the vibrant, gorgeous and completely fucked Night City, CD Projekt Red made this city feel lively, lived in and just absolutely gorgeous. Although, not looking like a map that is large, this map is actually pretty damn big, and here’s why. I found that the distance to each checkpoint or marker was realistic. Like I mean, it actually felt that when my player took 10 steps, the distance would decrease by just about 10 metres. That’s how HUGE this map is!
Now depending on how you cyberize yourself, can make traversing a whole lot of fun. You can have some Mirror Edge vibes and parkour across the rooftops or you can drive around Night City in one of the cars like a Need for Speed game, or if you’re really cooked in your head, you could walk everywhere … but seriously if you walk everywhere you’re a cyberpsycho … wait, I just insulted myself … ah fuck it who cares. THIS GAME WAS AWESOME!!!
A Breath-Taking Tale
Without a doubt, Cyberpunk’s best trait is the storyline and quests that happen in this gigantic map. Now we all know Keanu Reeves is Johnny Silverhand, a rocker terrorist who takes you on this journey and really gives this game purely breath-taking. The character development, the conversations and the sheer awesomeness of experiencing Johnny’s attitude gives this game a different feel, I can’t really describe it, but it just keeps you wanting to converse more, and see more and actually learn more. BUT Johnny Silverhand isn’t the only character you meet on your journey.
Cyberpunk’s supporting characters are all phenomenally crafted, each with their own style, own way of talking, and incredible backstory. And in true CD Projekt Red fashion, obviously the choices you make when conversing with them always impacts your story and ultimately your gaming experience. And yes, as you have probably heard, romancing is an option, although I can pretty much assure you that you will not be on a unicorn having sex or being tied to the bed after a failed threesome. For those who don’t know what I’m talking about, shutup, go buy The Witcher 3 and play it.
Alright, lemme reel it back in before I go on a rant about those who haven’t played The Witcher 3, for me Cyberpunk has a major shortfall. And that is the length of the main storyline. I found it short, and apparently, it’s because of some of those who bitched about The Witcher 3 being too long, and it got too much, and blah blah blah. Look if you are one of those who complained, if I find you I am going to stick my foot up your … WOOOOOSSSSSSAAAAAAAAA.
Alright look, I say the story is short, but the beauty of this game and the way it was written is that the side missions and quests could just as well be their own stand-alone games or stories, that is how well and in-depth they are. And how you approach each mission… well that’s up to you.
And here we go, the cyber-mods, the equipment and weapons and all the wonderful shiny upgrades. It wouldn’t be Cyberpunk if tech and mods to your own body didn’t exist. I mean duh, the game is called Cyberpunk 2077 you moron, what did you expect? Steam engines and a dart gun … IDIOT! But anyways, you can choose all the mods to make you stealthier than Sam Fisher and Solid Snake combined or you can be louder and more aggressive than a Mortal Kombat fighter and if Doom guy had a baby. Me, I did a combo, I had raw strength, the ability to sneak, but if shit hit the fan (also known as some gonk saw me and ruined my stealth vibe), I went loud, and blew everyone’s head off.
And that brings me to another thing, the weapons, pistols, rifles, shotguns, snipers, melee, and each one being either Tech (can power up shots), Smart (literally can shoot and hit a target behind cover) or Power (can ricochet bullets of surfaces). Each of these can be upgraded and made to be your best weapon yet. And besides the weapons and mods to you and the weapons, as is the norm in any RPG, player customisation in terms of character creation, clothing choice and all that jazz is up to you.
One thing that kind got to me, hair. Unlike in The Witcher, as time progressed, Geralt’s hair and beard grew, whereas here in Cyberpunk, you can’t change your hair or beard… but you can customize your genitals in the beginning … soooooo…. Yeah … do with that what you will.
Final Choice
Like I said, I don’t think my review would do this game enough justice, nor do I think it should. I will say however, that this game is on my list as one the best I have ever played. Although the story was short, the side quests made the game more intriguing and I found myself coming back for more. The combat and play style were phenomenal and I found myself changing it up on the fly as I played. The city and its outskirts are lively, and I found the city busy, lived in and downright spectacular. A game that encourages multiple play throughs because of 7 possible endings, Cyberpunk 2077 is a game that will be realised as one of the best and an all time classic, even if the launch was riddled with bugs, fuck-ups and annoyances. But hey, it’s CD Projekt Red, if anyone can make a good game even better, it’s them.
As always, stay safe people. Wear a mask, wash your hands, follow social distancing and for the love of god stay sane. Till next time, JoKishler out! (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻)